Why do people cheat? Seems to be the big question these days, doesn't it?
This is not a question I can answer. I've been the victim of cheating, but have never cheated. So the answer to this question is as elusive to me as it is to many people. I'm a fully grown, gay male with plenty of life experience behind me. In hindsight, I should have been full capable of dealing with this in a timely manner and moving on with my life. But then, what kind of gay man would I be without some sprinkle of drama queen or a big shot of martyrdom in my daily life?
This happened to me years ago. But, it still crosses my mind once a week. Sometimes once a day. Sometimes more than I care to admit. I traded in my pity-party duds for a Prada tee & Gucci loafers long ago. Yet, I'm still surprised when the thoughts of cheating crack open the door to the little tragedies closet in my mind. Of course, this could have something to do with the fact that I'm still with the cheater. Yes, yes I know. Shame on me. I deserve what I get.
Trust me, I hear those same things in my head every time I try to close the door to the little tragedies closet. And from my mother. Or rather, I would hear it from her if she knew.
When I decided to try to forgive and forget, I knew that I could never tell her. Not because I'm afraid that she would nag me endlessly about the need to leave him. No, I haven't told her because I'm afraid that she won't.
I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful mother who accepted me with love and understanding when I came out of the closet. She loves my partner dearly, often referring to him as her son-in-law. So what's the big deal, right? Well, my mom always had a saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater." She's full of these little gems.
If I told her that he had cheated on me, and she didn't tell me to leave, would that mean that she loves him more than me? That's what is at the heart of cheating. It destroys a little part of you. It makes you doubt and question everything you believe about yourself. So when you decide to stay, you use a little spit and some scotch tape and try to put your heart back together. And you keep your mouth shut.
Let's not worry about what makes people cheat. There's no way to stop it or understand it IMHO. No, let's find a way to put all those little whores who a party to the cheating in a run-down tenement somewhere and set the place ablaze! Or cut off their genitals and super-glue them to their forehead like a gross kind of Scarlet Letter. Or just stick them all on an island somewhere where sex and alcohol are forbidden and the only thing on TV is Little House on the Prairie. I kid, I jest. It does feel good to imagine scenarios like that now and then.
So I've made pact in my mind with all the future celebrities who's lives are splashed across the tabloids when their partner/spouse/bf or gf cheats. Each time I read or hear a story about a celebrity who has been cheated on, I'll drink a Cosmo. That way, I'll have some beer muscles to shut that damn little tragedies closet. Then I'll relax and think about that little island and how I could poison the water with large quantities of Ex-Lax.
